Fuck this man. Fuck him so hard in the fucking face that his brain dies.

A long day of work and play and it was time to go home, so I was treating myself to a cab. One of the new Nissan Future Taxis picked me up. These things are spacious, but also have a very high separation wall, so you really don’t get a good view of the driver.  I told the cab driver to take me to Queens via the Midtown tunnel. We arrived at my destination, which is always across the street from my apartment building. I have never felt comfortable letting a cab driver know where I live. I paid the fair with a credit card. The driver told me I still owed him for the toll. I told him I have never paid separately for a toll before. He told me to wait a minute, but I did not see him doing anything, the separation wall is high.  I told him he should have added it in, I already paid the fare. He told me to wait a minute. I was feeling very uncomfortable and his behavior was feeling shady. I went to open the door and it was locked. I told him to unlock the door. He told me to wait a minute. I got LOUD and told him to unlock the door. He told me to wait a minute. I threatened to call the cops twice or more before he finally unlocked the door. I got out and walked the opposite direction. The Cab Driver got out, I turned around and he was pulling his unzipped pants up as he came around to the back of the cab. I yelled some things at him about jerking off that I can’t quite remember. They were not witty or clever, they were freaked out and coming from a place of shock.  He told me he was having me banished or some shit and was pointing to the sky.  I stepped into the street to take a photo of the license and he blocked the license plate.  My body started shaking realizing what was happening. Something I can’t prove.  But I will say it. This pile of garbage was keeping me locked inside his cab so he could jerk off with me in there. God knows if he had any other plans. I started officially walking away and called my husband and could barely get the words out. I started shaking and had to think really hard to get my body to move towards my building. Thankfully there is a median on the street I live on, so the Cab Driver could not make a U-turn and follow me. I made it to my buildings driveway and froze, a few minutes later, from a safe distance.  I saw the cab driver pass. My husband found me shivering and crying, frozen in place.

I have no proof is limp dick was in his hands while I was in the cab.

I can’t prove the door was locked and he refused to let me out.

I can and did dispute the charges on my credit card.

I can and did file a complaint with T & L commission.

If I ever take a cab again, I guess my first move is to always take a photo of their license and request the doors remain wide open while I am driven home.



(via mullaney)

29/8/14, 194 notes


Connor is the best.
He almost became President.
He’s going to win at least one gold medal in the 2016 Olympics.
I think it might be his birthday today!
But I’m going by an Instagram update and the time difference gets a little confusing sometimes so it could have been yesterday…
Either way, everyone’s favourite Ex-Presidential-Candidate-Turned-Future-Olympian has turned 39 at some point in the last several hours. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CONNOR! :)

27/8/14, 61 notes

I just now turned 39. This is footage of the first time I celebrated a birthday, with my grandma and a Snoopy cake.

27/8/14, 12 notes
Everyist Blogcast: Elvis Costello Special 60th Birthday Extravaganza!


Everyist Blogcast: Elvis Costello Special 60th Birthday Extravaganza!


This kid is 60 years old today. What?!

That’s right, folks. The gangly, acerbic, perennially-at-odds-with-himself young man is now a veritable elder statesman of song, and may soon be transitioning to a new career of yelling at kids to get off his lawn. No, but seriously, Elvis Costello is 60. Isn’t that crazy? Doesn’t that make you think about your own mortality? It should.

Regardless, I am a…

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It’s Elvis Costello’s 60th birthday today, and I’m one of the many contributors to this special episode of the Everyist podcast where people talk about their favorite Costello songs!

It’s 2-and-a-half hours of Costello fun, with lots of rare gems and interesting commentary, and it features both me talking about my all-time favorite Costello song AND the special remix I did of “Beyond Belief” many years ago.

25/8/14, 4 notes
48 plays


I have been listening to him since 1993.

I’m about to turn 39 this week.

Other songs considered for this this post: “Tears At The Birthday Party”, “The Last Year Of My Youth”, “Tomorrow’s (Just Another Day)”, “All Grown Up”, “How Long Has This Been Going On”, “Earthbound”, “Life Shrinks”, and “Party Party.”

25/8/14, 11 notes



The very first Peanuts strip, October 2, 1950



He would be Charlie Brown’s “friend” and teammate for a while but eventually he would disappear and no one would ever hear from him again. 

The seeds of his eventual fate are planted in this very strip.

(via caseymeeks)

24/8/14, 8811 notes


The George Lucas Talk Show featuring Max Rebo & the Galactic Jizz-Wailers

22/8/14, 8 notes



Connor attempts to fix “Brother Neil” (Neil Casey) up with Mudon’s sister.

21/8/14, 36 notes

I will be performing Stand-Up Comedy as “George Lucas” as part of the Brooklyn Comedy Festival this Thursday night at The Gutter in Williamsburg.

I submitted to this thinking there was zero possibility that I would get into the festival. I’ve been doing The George Lucas Talk Show every month since March and all of the shows have gone really well, and yet I still believe there is a reasonable chance that this stand-up set could be a disaster.

Come see it!

Lotsa funny people on the bill that night!

19/8/14, 12 notes

The New Basement Tapes - “Nothing To It” (Official Lyric Video)

I’m very excited about this, even though this very nice enjoyable track is not particularly Costello-heavy (although I THINK I can detect his voice buried deep amongst the group harmonies.)

Produced by T Bone Burnett, the album features newly-discovered lyrics by Bob Dylan, written when he was 26, with new music written and performed “in creative collaboration” by Elvis Costello, Rhiannon Giddens, Taylor Goldsmith, Jim James and Marcus Mumford.

People on Costello message boards are bitching about Mumford, while there are people on Dylan message boards grumbling that it isn’t Dylan himself doing it all, and some of them aren’t even all that thrilled that Costello’s a part of it.

Me, I can’t wait to hear it all. They recorded 40 songs and 20 of them are on this first release, and there is every indication that there will be a “volume two.”

19/8/14, 6 notes